Goodbye, Richard

Things got incredibly awkward. There was no real way of saying it, but after the abusive relationship, after putting her head through a wall, literally causing her skull to break and her head to bleed, after the attempted murders—because her husband had attempted to murder her at least three times—after the cheating, after the physical abuse, which wasn't daily but consisted of him literally picking her up and throwing her against the wall, they had only been dating for six months. Some people go through abuse like this for years.

She is tired. Katrina is tired.

And then there's Davidson. Davidson is a nice guy and nothing like her boyfriend, Richard. However, Davidson is not her boyfriend. He's been pursuing her and showing her all the love and affection she's been wanting. Katrina, however, is confused and honestly isn't sure if he's a good guy because, in her mind, why would you butt into someone else's relationship? It was a turnoff, even though this person seemed like a much better partner.

Richard, on the other hand, is abusive and clearly doesn't love her. Literally, he got with her because he needed money. He was broke. He was poor.

Goodbye, Richard

12:14

What was she supposed to do other than just leave? It was a six-month relationship. While that's still a long relationship—literally half a year—it wasn't even a good one.

At some point, Katrina just thought, "I should just listen to my sister Kathleen and basically dump Richard and find someone else."

As a result, she became interested in Davidson as a partner but understood that she was in a relationship. It violated her morals. She didn't believe in cheating. There were so many reasons why she didn't believe in cheating, including the fact that cheating on an abusive person could get you killed.

As a result, she decided, "You know what? I'll leave Richard for Davidson because Richard is abusive. He doesn't love me. He's told me time and time again that he doesn't love me. Then he love-bombs me, trying to keep me because he only ever does all that nice stuff after he attacks me. Then he goes right back to it. He always says, 'I'll change. I'm going to be better,' because he doesn't want me to leave. He depends on me financially. He wants sex, he wants slavery, and he essentially just wants me to pay all the bills."

She realized, "Why should I stay with someone who genuinely doesn't care?"

Richard, however, has no accountability whatsoever. His level of accountability is more along the lines of, "She left me because she hates me," but he'll never remember, believe, or think about why she hates him or even bring it up. Instead, it's always, "She's evil. She's terrible." It hurts his ego that someone left him, but he has no accountability to realize, "You know, if I weren't such a terrible person, and if I became a better person, maybe she wouldn't have left me if I weren't abusive."

That's literally what one of his friends said because Richard has no empathy. He has no empathy for anyone other than himself. His friend Tony said, "You know, maybe if you were a better person, she wouldn't have left you." Richard has no empathy. He's never empathetic toward his friend. He's never empathetic toward his girlfriend. Everyone is expected to have empathy for him, but he's never expected to have empathy for anyone else.

He's incredibly selfish, incredibly stubborn, and in incredible denial. He knows he's a bad person. He's willing to accept that much, but he refuses to admit it for fear of the consequences.

In the end, the relationship falls apart, and inevitably Katrina leaves him and aspires to date Davidson, who actually showed genuine interest in her.

Katrina was pregnant anyway and honestly didn't tell Richard about the baby because she knew, "If he finds out he's got a kid, he's going to abuse me. He's going to kill the kid, and if I go for child support, he's probably going to try to put acid in the baby's milk bottle. It's going to be hell, and I don't have to keep him here. I don't even have to put him on the birth certificate because he doesn't want to be a father. I know he's not going to want to be a father, and if he is a father, he's either going to teach the kid terrible values, outright abuse them, or raise them to become an abuser."

It was a very terrible, messy, and complicated situation.

So she chose Davidson, who was willing to raise her child. He was like, "Oh wow, that's terrible," after she explained the situation, and they simply chose to say, "Oh, that's Davidson's kid."

She put Davidson on the birth certificate and refused to put Richard on it, denying him legal parental rights to the child.

She basically called the police. She broke up with Richard before getting with Davidson. The way she broke up with Richard was by calling the police and saying, "This guy is abusing me. I'm so tired of this. I'm leaving. I'm going to find someone else. I can't do this anymore. I'm pregnant."

She left. She didn't even call him. She didn't text him. She was just like, "I'm going to break up with him once he's in jail."

She wrote down everything he did to her, legitimately recorded him yelling at her over the phone to "come back," recorded him on FaceTime yelling at her, recorded him threatening to beat her, and effectively recorded a confession: "I'm going to beat you like last time."

That led to him going to jail, and it was only then that she sent him a letter in prison saying:

"I'm dumping you. We're over. It is because of your abuse. It is not my fault. It is not your friend's fault. It's not Kathleen's fault. It's no one's fault but your own. If you weren't abusive, if you hadn't bashed my head into the wall, if you hadn't punched me in the face, if you hadn't done any of what you did to make me hate you, I wouldn't hate you as much as I do. Everything you did is not love. You're not in love with me. You know you're not in love with me. You know you don't love me. Everything you have ever done to me is what made me hate you. I genuinely loved you when we first got together, but when you put someone's head through a wall, when you try to kill them three times—that's why I charged you with attempted murder, because that's attempted murder. I charged you with assault because that's assault. Attacking me and putting my head through a wall is assault. Domestic violence is literally assault. Abuse is assault. Physical abuse is physical assault, so I charged you with physical assault because I know those crimes get you prison time. I know I have to call the police. In some states they have to be called three times for the same thing. I'd call them three times in one night just to get rid of you.

I've always wanted to say this, and I believe you genuinely need to hear it. This is something your therapist won't tell you because they need to be receptive. You are a horrible person. Morally, you are wrong—objectively, not subjectively. I don't believe morals are subjective, or at least I don't believe all morals are subjective. Objectively, you are an immoral person. You're not amoral; you are immoral. You are evil. You are not some nuanced person. Sure, you can have thoughts, goals, wants, feelings, aspirations, and be nice to some of your friends, but generally you're a butthole to everyone. You are not a nuanced person. You are a bad person. You are a purely bad person to everybody you meet. You have terrible, dastardly thoughts. If everyone looked deep down, they would find that you're just as horrible inside as you are on the surface. I hope one day you truly realize how horrible a person you are, accept it, and care enough to change. But the thing is, you don't care. You know just how bad everything is, and you don't care how bad it is. You know what everyone else knows. You are surrounded by knowledge, and you genuinely do not care at all.

And you know what? I don't care anymore, because if I do, then I'm just going to live in despair and frustration. I don't want to be frustrated over someone there's no point in being frustrated about. I don't love you. I never loved you. I was scared of you. And it's not power. Anyone can do something terrible to someone and get a reaction back."