Charlie White gets dumped

DISCLAIMER:

I love watching Charles Christopher White Jr. None of this was meant to offend Cr1TiKaL. This is a fictional comedy made for the lolz.

It is 2026.

Charlie White is thrown into a dumpster while he sleeps as a prank. His new girlfriend, Coraline, has dumped him without telling him. Coraline's leaving Charlie White for the plumber because the plumber, Allen, is about to enter into a lot of money ($500,000,000) due to the death of his beloved mother, Karen, & her will.

Allen was Karen's child, her husband got nothing because her husband, George, would flirt with Karen's mother in front of Karen. George also slept with Karen's mother, Diane, and kept going when Karen walked in on George & Diane having intercourse.

Charlie White woke up and then realized that... He's in a dumpster. He started wheezing and snapping up from the bed of garbage and just overall hauls his way out of there like a bat out of fecal material... Ironically Charlie White's butt was accidentally placed in fecal material not his own.

Charlie White looks around and is so confused. God, invisible, just looks at the situation in the most utter disgust he's ever felt, cringing. God just sends his dad to go look for him. Charlie's still an atheist in this story, by the way.

Charlie's pops roles into the alleyway and loads Charlie into the backseat like a cargo haul and asks so many obvious questions.

God is just... So confused as to why Coraline dumped him this BAD. Charlie did so much good for Coraline.

Coraline, in return, slept with 400 other men during their relationship, gave Charlie 3 curable STDs he got treated, And stole $40,000 from him pretending to be a white man from Nigeria. In reality, she's a Caucasian Florida woman.

Police are still investigating that one.

Coraline's pretended to be by his side through it all, which was weird to Charlie because Coraline's never been there for him before. Lucky for him, I guess, she's got to be supportive to hide her tracks.

To avenge MoistCr1TiKaL, God decided to help expedite the investigation into who stole Charlie's money.

Meanwhile, Charlie is calling his girlfriend, asking, "Um... Hey, babe... I just... I woke up in a garbage can..." Literally laughing because this is so confusing.

Coraline says, "I dumped you in there because I'm dumping you. I'm with Allen. He's gonna get $500,000,000 from his dead mother, Karen, in her will. Good thing Karen's dead, isn't it?"

Charlie was flabbergasted. penguinz0 couldn't understand what was going on, so Charles Christopher White Jr. asked her multiple questions multiple times to get the gist and Coraline repeated the exact same thing seven times, no difference, and all in a deadpan voice.

Cr1TiKaL shouts, "WHAT THE ****?!"

Cr1TiKaL is SHOOK. MoistCr1TiKaL CANNOT believe this!

Coraline states in a deadpan voice, “So anyway, I’m going to have his children, and that’s how I’m going to get $500,000 more in revenue from this family, you know—because she doesn’t just have $500 million. We’re going to have sex, and we’re just going to, like, bang. And honestly, I think your reaction is funny, so I’m just trying to gouge you—but it’s true. We’re actually going to do that. We have to try until we get at least one son, because they want sons to keep the family name. And I’m kind of concerned about having daughters. I don’t want to have to work through all those girls. I might actually give those back to you, because, like, I don’t know—you seem generous. But then again, I know your address, so if I ever need to leave a child on someone’s doorstep, I’ll probably leave it with you.”

Coraline says in bursting laughter, "It's just a prank, bro! But it Is true, I am dumping you!"

Coraline just hung up. Charlie is just Frozen is shocked for a good... Basically, the entire time Coraline was talking.C

Charlie very quickly looks at his dad, Charles Sr. and says "What the ****?!" Charles Jr. Didn't know what to say.

Charles Sr. Just asks Charles Christopher White Jr. 'bout his girlfriend, and Charlie reams at him about it and his dad is very deeply confused.

His dad says, "What if it's just a prank like she said?" As Cr1TiKaL ran to his home through the front door with poop from some random stranger's newborn baby that he accidentally acquired from being thrown into a dumpster.

Cr1TiKaL ignored his dad. Charles Christopher White Jr. doesn't usually ignore his loving dad.

Charles Christopher White Jr. Told his dad to drive Cr1TiKaL home as this is a critical situation, so he did. Coraline was living with Cr1TiKaL, but... Not anymore. Cr1TiKaL's girl, Coraline, is living with the plumber, now.

While Coraline twerks for the plumber, Cr1TiKaL goes home to see his house is in shambles. Coraline tore it up as a prank because she thinks it'd be funny just to see his reaction to this. She's done this prank 20 times before. Charles Christopher White Jr. really loved Coraline which is why Cr1TiKaL never left Coraline.

This is .... Special.

Specially crazy, but okay.

Cr1TiKaL is just infuriated and raves at his deadbeat Coraline even though she's not there & definitely not coming nor calling back. Cr1TiKaL freaks out and doesn't cry, just rants & raves then breaks down moving all his stuff back sobbing.

This is Cr1TiKaL! Truly Cr1TiKaL! And Coraline's never even gonna text Cr1TiKaL back. THAT is actually a good thing. Coraline's just too awful, to be honest.

Coraline as a joke video tapes herself twerking for the plumber and posts it online. Then she makes an O.F. and posts it on there and schedules the Gmail A.I. to send it all as an email to Cr1TiKaL! Set for his birthday to show up on his birthday!!

Coraline carefully types in "8/2/1994."

It fails because the idiot forgot that THAT was the YEAR OF HIS BIRTH and that's in the PAST & the A.I. won't let you schedule something for the past, of course, because how can you do that?!

So, Coraline set it for "8/2/2026."

CORALINE then gets an idea!

Coraline says to Allen, "What if as a joke I set it for seven birthdays after that so 2027-2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033? Detroit: become human time possibly? I go all the way up to the Detroit: become human's year?"

Coraline looks up on Google: "what time period does Detroit become human take place in" and finds 2038 so she schedules it to show up all every year on his birthday up until 2038.

Allen advises her to "Do 3038!" Laughing out of his jealousy of Charles for Coraline!

However, Coraline said that "it would be too much," and that "I may not be able to go that far," but that "If I could, I probably would," but Coraline also says that "I don't think Charles would live that long, so 2038 is enough."

Allen says, "You know, it looks like Detroit: become human is gonna be a reality," and they just talk about it while scheduling the ugly email like a pair of lovers.

Charles just moved on with his dad & mom's help as she has utterly screwed his emotions UP.

THEN THE BIRTHDAY EMAIL SHOWS UP.

He is much better & over her, but then he sees "HAHA, I SCREWED THE PLUMBER." It shows a video of her twerking for the plumber, and a whole bunch of other things that just mocks Charlie or is her flirting with the plumber. Coraline is 24. Allen is 54.

Charlie reports the email and deleted it. Didn't matter since more were coming and she was detained for stealing his $40,000. Coraline's email actually made God expedite her arrest even further. 

Coraline is pregnant, though. Yeah, Coraline's having a girl. No, IT IS DEFINITELY NOT CHARLES' BABY. It's Allen's. They think she's a boy. They bought all boy things anticipation of the $500,000 they're going to get for a son. They can't birth a son right now because she'll be in jail for at least 3 years due to a plea deal.

Once Coraline gets out, though, Coraline is going to have a son, and they will get $500,000. The original plan was basically to abandon a girl on Moist Critical’s doorstep, but since Coraline’s in jail and the baby’s primary custodial parent is going to be the father because of this—and he doesn’t want to lose his child and has enough money to afford two children (with that much money, you can pretty much afford anything)—he decided to keep the baby. Of course, Coraline doesn’t want to.

Coraline & Moist have been together for 4 years, Moist Critical had no idea of the cheating until court where Coraline admitted all of it to spite him for testifying against Coraline.

Coraline spit at Charles because of this 19 times, one hitting his face, so he left court. Coraline is insufferable.

His parents are shouting obscenities, even the judge and police are arguing with her as she curses them all out and it ends up on the famous TV show "Court cam" about all the wild stuff that happens in court.

MoistCr1TiKaL (Charlie White) is a multi-millionaire, having revealed he earned over $35 million from YouTube alone and an additional amount from Twitch, totaling over $40 million, leading him to disable donations as he felt he made enough money and his fans could use their funds better.

This is why Coraline dated Charles White Jr.

However, the plumber was getting more money, so she warped into a monster.

To be continued...