Crickle crackle pop: How I killed & Cloned my Aunt | Chapter 3

Cathy's Point of View (POV)

I was walking down the street in the present, enjoying the fine winter.

I like the winter. It's got lots of snow, and playing in the snow is pretty much one of the very few socially acceptable forms of fun that adults like me can have.

My religion says I can't sleep around, cheat on my cheating husband, drink too much, do stuff in excess, always be careful, etc. While society and culture outside of my religion says I can't play with toys, games, watch cartoons, etc.

That's why I like solitude. I'm surely no introvert, I have no social battery, I just like being alone. Socializing doesn't make me tired nor does it energize me. All it is is random talking; There is no physical exertion unless you're doing something with them. I can go to a party and enjoy myself and take zero time out to recharge because there is nothing to charge as nothing was depleted.

Then...

I suddenly start imagining Joe & Margaret.

I hate it!!!

All he does it snip at me and flirt with other women. Then he gets mad when I reject him for sex with his porn addicted !@#.

The Next Day.

No one but the writer's P.O.V.

So, technically because he has more testosterone and the relationship hasn't been going very well... rather than reverting to a calm State, his mind did kind of automatically cause him to get ticked off 'cuz it needs a trigger, and the trigger was the hot dog... Joe didn't like being served a hot dog; He wanted a sandwich.

Cathy's NARRATION:

If I had to put it into words, the thing I hate most about my husband is the testosterone. As his wife, it’s the most insufferable part because it fuels his anger. I understand the biological balance, women generally have higher estrogen and lower testosterone, while men have the opposite, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating to live with.

Testosterone increases arousal, so he has a strong drive for sex. Not constantly, but enough that it feels excessive to me. It makes me question whether it’s just biology, a porn addiction, or something deeper. At times I’ve even wondered why I didn’t choose to be with women instead. The only reason I didn’t is because of my Christian beliefs.

There’s also the anger. My grandmother used to say lust and anger go together, and she was right. Higher testosterone can intensify both. Women can become more emotional and sometimes more aroused during their periods partly because of hormonal shifts in testosterone, so in a way men experience something similar -- and WORSE -- all the time. What men deal with for about a week each month with angry women on their period, we deal with constantly with men.

When you reject them sexually, they cuss you out. Rejection bruises their deeply fragile ego. It’s not that I reject him because he’s a bad person, sometimes I just don’t want to date or have sex. Yet his ego takes it as a wound, and lust quickly turns into anger, just like my grandmother and mother warned me. When someone lusts after you and you reject them, they flips into pure rage. It's the same testosterone shifting emotional garbage, and it’s so annoying.

What makes it worse is that he isn’t emotionally mature. Many men I’ve seen are stable and self-controlled, but he’s often snippy, grumpy, and rude. If he flirts with other women and they reject him, he lashes out, insults them, and loses control. He’ll even flirt in front of me, in the same room or house.

I’ve read that testosterone levels can vary slightly between black men and white men, with black men having slightly higher levels, though they can have as much as 40% more which is rare. when men take excessive testosterone through treatments,

they beat people for the smallest infractions or even nothing. Anger is destructive, and too much of it can lead to yelling, violence, and the most irrational crap. There are real cases where abuse of testosterone led to a man becoming so angry that he beat up his wife.

I could never be with a man whose testosterone was as much as 40% higher than most men. If minor hormonal shifts in women can feel like pure suffering to men because of how annoying it makes us, how am I supposed to handle someone operating at such heightened levels all the time? When anger is amplified like that, it’s hard for men to manage. Living with a consistently snippy, angry, and miserable man is frustrating and I'd be livid every day.

To Be Continued...