When You Grow Up | Part 2

You, Cade, are now 4. Due to your level of intelligence, your parents nicknamed you "The Chibi Baka." "Baka" is Japanese, it means "stupid."

You are actually very stupid at this age. You're also mean. You stomp on feet, being the chipper baby boy that you are, you eat shoes, you eat candy, you drink soda in secret, you steal oreos, you push other children, you steal people's toys.

You, Cade, have been described as "Testing boundaries," this is not true. You are literally just doing whatever you want to do. You're not trying to see what you can get away with, you just don't care.

You spilled things on purpose just for fun, you ran off with the hose your daddy needed to water the flowers, you also stole your mom's $30 make up and tried to eat it, so they took you to the hospital because your mommy noticed that her red blush was missing.

You also decided that hiding mommy's shoes is absolutely hilarious! Your  mom's clothes are also taking hits when you started pulling the buttons from them,  you also aspired to methodically break your mother's hair strands.

You proceed to play in your own poo, you just randomly got the temptation to do so, grabbed some toys, and decided to "live a little" as you put it, telling yourself "YOLO."

Your mom caught you, freaked out and bathed you and cleaned off the toys, dropping them in clorox bleach.

You walk in the bathroom with your parents still pooping, you run around screaming and say nothing when you know you were doing something wrong. You did that a lot.

Right now, you are throwing around these large cans full of orange paint that your dad needs to paint the garage. Fumes are everywhere. You do not know that, though, and just keep on swinging.

Your dad ran in, he looked all around and he's had enough. Instantly, the cans are flying -- but he threw them this time and is ranting all sorts of obscenities.

He paints on the wall with his bare hands "Stupid frickin' BAKA." Obviously, this means you.

You are... Scared. This has scared you enough to make you cry and apologize, so your mom ran in and started screaming at him, too.

Eventually, it's nothing but screaming, then your dad announces that he wants a divorce and that your mom can keep her side whore????

Where did this come from? This has nothing- OH NO.

You scream and cry and beg for them to stay together, you have no idea what's going on. You claim your mommy didn't actually do it, you are 100% sure of that, but your dad tells you to "SHUT UP!"

You cry and run away as your mom keeps defending you!

Your mom, in fact, didn't actually cheat, but your dad has been cheating with the pretty lady next door Irene, and assumes your mother is because he has no idea people can be fateful.

Eventually, your mom dumps him after finding Irene's texts on his phone. She is devastated.

Your family is utterly ruined.

Daddy doesn't take it well, but whenever you're at his house because the court agreed to let him have joint custody, he's always blaming Irene. He always says Irene is stupid for texting him when he told her not to.  He always says Irene is a homewrecker.

Things are awkward... You love him, but this is so awkward...

When you go to your mom's house, all you can hear from her is her declarations of celibacy. Your dad has hurt her so much that she wanted to be calibate, you don't even know what that word means at this age but... he says it'll make sure that "No one will ever hurt me or you again!"

These are the worst years ever in your mind. This is like a stab in the gut. You can't even see mommy and daddy when you want.

You get 6 months with mom, and 6 month without dad. When you get your yearly 6 months with dad, you have to suffer 6 months without your beloved mother.

No one wanted to call each other, no one wanted to call you... Or... Maybe it's just that when they did, they hung up the phone on each other. They only stopped doing that when you turned 7 so now you can call them whenever you want...

To be continued...