Crickle Crackle Pop: How I killed & Cloned my Aunt | Chapter 8

Writer's narration

A lot of you all want character development and growth in Cathy; This is an origin story. Cathy isn't here to grow; She's here to move along the plot until disaster. When does Cathy get character growth, you ask? When she's on her meds. A teeter totter between sanity & insanity, her growth reverts and becomes naught as soon as she stops taking her meds, her growth progresses and returns when she tasks herself with her meds, her mentality will destabilize until she's unrecognizable if they're gone all of the sudden... She may get better without them, or just get much worse. She's going to get much worse.

Cathy's Narration

I feel much better about life. I don't know why my meds work, they just do; Gonna look it up, actually. I just feel so calm. It's so weird.

Online it says that Medications for Bipolar I disorder, including mood stabilizers (Lithium, Valproate, Lamotrigine) and atypical antipsychotics (Quetiapine, Aripiprazole, Lurasidone), work by regulating neurotransmitters to stabilize mood, treating acute mania, and managing depression. They often require a combination approach, such as pairing a mood stabilizer with an antipsychotic to manage severe symptoms or prevent relapse.

My psychotherapist's scheduled appointment is next week; I don't want to go. I want to stay home and play video games... But I have to, I guess. I take Lithium and... Lurasidone. Lithium makes me numb, but... While others may self-harm to feel something, how I react makes me feel... Weird. When I'm on Lithium, I just feel calm. Neutral. And I don't care. I don't care about the lack of emotions; I just translate that in my head as... Calmness. Others say that's not how Lithium works, and that's why I'm not sure what's wrong with me in that department...

My mom says the Lithium may not work on people that self-harm because they don't feel anything. Like, they still feel sad, just less sad. My mom says "They seem to not be able to identify the sadness." She also said that "it's likely they have other mental illnesses," and that "the Lithium may not be working on them."

I find it so weird how content I am with... Feeling numb. Nothing. I am happy to feel... Nothing at all. I don't know why.

To be Continued...